Friday, October 30, 2015

Nothing says true love like

Shoe spikes. Because I am a Klutz, and the amazing husband wants me to stay upright. Ahhh, sweet, young love.

Thursday, October 29, 2015

Picture heavy much??

Yup! Going to show off my perfectly healthy, tiny baby boy. I am so relieved and feeling so blessed. He is my little miracle.
Side profile

Side profile

Front of the face.. I know, a little creepy if you are not fully in love. 

Um, side profile...

Ohhh, this one is a side profile. 

And a side profile, with his hand by his mouth.

And a side profile with both his hands by his mouth, looking like one very odd, long, many fingered hand. 

His little feet!!!
His little bits!!!! And his chubby thighs. 

This is my favorite picture. He is trying to latch onto his hand. When we first started the ultrasound he was sucking his thumb. He lost it and spent the remainder of the ultrasound, about 50 minutes, with both hands up to his face, rooting around trying to suck on them. He needs his thumb!!!

His precious, tiny little foot. 

He is indeed small, about 34%. Babies this age weigh over a pound, usually by a few ounces. My little guy is about 13 oz, which will make him a perfect 6ish pounds at birth. All of my kids have been between 6-7 pounds. The Dr said he is perfect, so I am not going to worry. Heaven knows I am giving him enough nutrition. Oink. 

He is head down, with his spine up the side of my stomach, and his feet stretched way out, about 2-3 inches above my belly button. He had his legs held straight for a good portion of the ultrasound. He is just chillin' not worrying too much about putting his feet places they don't belong. I am ok with this, as long as he is healthy and happy. 

People have asked about a name. My husband always tries to give them subtle signs before they get the words out. Signs like shouting "noooooooo, stop! Don't ask. Please, for the love of all that is holy, don't ask!". So no. No name yet, but only because the perfect hubby has yet to see the error of his naming ways. 

Tuesday, October 27, 2015


I finished the extremely modified jumper. It is super cute, and super soft. I really love this yarn, and everything I knit with it.
Now for blocking and buttons. I should probably also weave in ends. I am not so good at getting that done. I wore a shawl the other day, that I knit about a year ago. My husband pointed out that I still had not woven in ends. I will get to it. Someday, when there is nothing to knit. 

I snuck a picture of my adult child, because it made me happy. She is wearing a shawl she knit, with a hat she knit, and using the yarn she is currently knitting with as a pillow. 

These are the kind of college party pictures I generally expected from her. Also, this was about 7:30pm. 

While I am catching up the knitting chatter, my little baby boy is dancing away in my tummy. He has been very active this morning. I have been able to feel him since about 15 weeks, but there was a huge change in his movements and he became much more energetic and strong about 20 weeks, which is when this picture was taken. I have been taking some to send to the sister wife. I had not intended to share them with anyone else, but I had to since he is being rather insistent right now. 

I have put off our big anatomy scan that they generally do at 18-20 weeks. It terrifies me. It brings fear to the the center of my soul, with no reason. I should have had it a month ago. So I have agreed to go tomorrow. Ahh! Just praying he is as perfect as he seems to be. 

He has to be. I ordered a new co-sleeper. That has to mean something, right?

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

I need yarn

Because you can never have enough yarn. It is a fact.

But right now what I want to do is knit this:
Into this:gift wrap romper

Which it just so happens is written for worsted weight, and the above yarn is fingering. Math I must do.   
Because I knit it in worsted and it looks like this:

(PS that is a large, green baby bump that made its way into the picture somehow)
And this:
Which is this:

Which is the yarn I talked about that I fell totally in love with, and finally went back to purchase. But then I knit it. And I hate it. The pattern was absolutely delicious though. Extremely well written. Probably one of the best patterns I have ever used. It took me an afternoon to knit, and even though the yarn turned out to be evil, the knitting was divine. 

And when I finished I knit this:

Which is a slouchy hat that my daughter was going to knit. She got frustrated by row two, so I took over. I rather enjoyed it. I knit it while camping in my favorite little spot. 

This spot. So much beauty in one spot. These are a little pair of pants for the baby boy that we hope will be coming home the start of next year. 

In non-kniting news:

Today while I was in the shower my ten year old came in all excited because he had found this:

In my hallway. 

Just acting all friendly and cozy. It is a good thing I kind of love cat face spiders. I have since I was a little girl. Still, outside is a preferable space for them to live. 

Reality check

I am not anti-gun. I am actually very pro-gun. I grew up with guns, but in all honesty, they have always terrified me. I have always refused to allow a gun in my home. I made my amazing husband store his at another location.
Then we got the farm. The thing about owning a farm is that it kind of goes hand in hand with gun ownership.  My life and opinions changed a great deal. I started to allow a gun at the house. Not IN the house, but at the general location. However, the ammo is in a very separate location. Safety first. As time went on, I made it a goal to educate myself and my children on guns and gun safety. In time, my comfort level grew and I purchased a gun fit myself for my own farm use. Something I could handle myself if needed. That gun has been used four times on the farm. I could still never get comfortable with it. I asked my amazing husband to purchase another gun that I had used, and felt comfortable with. He did the amazing husband thing, and got me the gun. I have spent many hours, and many shooting sessions familiarizing myself with the gun, and I feel complete confidence in my weapon. Guns are indeed a part of our life, and we respect them.

With that introduction, I can tell the tale that started today's journaling. It has weighed heavy, and I can say it has changed my life.
This weekend we went hunting. My husband is not a hunter. I am not a hunter. In some kind of joke, we were sent a son that is very much a hunter. We feel that the best thing to do is to learn and grow with him. My husband's family all hunt, and he grew up hunting, so he knows the rules. This isn't new to him. This weekend we took our family to the mountains, and my husband took our son hunting. They were joined by my husband's family.

This weekend, while on the mountain, wearing bright orange, my husband was almost shot. There was an accidental firing of a weapon, and it missed my husband by inches. I can't explain the terror this brings to me. I have spent several sleepless nights since then, thinking of life without my eternal companion. My better half. My very best friend. I have gone over and over the changes in my head. What would we do? What steps would we take? Could I continue on? How would I deliver and raise a baby that never knew his father? Could my children go on without their best parent? Would I have to sell all of the livestock, my livelyhood since I can't care for them alone? Could my world continue without its axis? I know it could, but not successfully. It would never be as good as it is now.
In the end, my husband was safe. My son got his deer. We all returned home. Home to a news story of almost the exact scenario of what happened to my husband on the mountain, but with a ten year old boy left dead.
I will be haunted for a very long time. I will be thankful for the time here on Earth with my companion. I will more fully appreciate what I have.
I will live in fear of what could have been, or what might be someday. I will live a step back from where my comfort level was. I will be praying for the family and their loss, while paying for the gratitude I feel that it was not my own.

Sunday, October 4, 2015

Oh Darn!!!

I have about fifty pair of hand knit socks. I adore them. Love. About 99% of them have holes that need to be fixed. I have known this, and put it off for a long time. But you know what? It is cold. Winter is setting in, and my poor feet are freezing. So this week I decided it was time to get out my trusty light bulb (from the boys bathroom. I swear they don't open their eyes while in there, so they won't notice) my yarn, thread, and needles. Then I got started.
The hole. 

All threaded up. 

And woven in with yarn. 

Other than that, I finally got the perfect buttons on these perfect "Baby Surprise" jackets that my sister wife made. Love them. Love, love, love!!

The newborn size.
And the six month size. 

Then I finished the previously mentioned hat. The hat that tried really hard not to be. Ironically, the hat got lost after I bought new yarn. I was feeling pretty frustrated, but it was found, and now it is done. I adore it. It turned out perfectly. It was a pattern from my brain, but I love the decreases!

Cute little decreases!
Now I will make matching little baby pants. 

And I have to show
  Off my mini-me's current project... The Katniss cowl. She is awesome, and watching her be a knit addict makes my life happy.

Thursday, October 1, 2015

Rippit, rippit, rippit

The blessing outfit has been frogged. Of course I kept knitting it until it was nearly complete first. Still hated it. Gave it my best though. I found another pattern I adored, and had knit before. That was the final straw in the cap of the blessing outfit, and away I went, frogging with much satisfaction. Then I went to print the pattern, only to find that it was no longer available. Oy-vey... The search continues.

In the meantime, I have some serious yarn drama.
I found a yarn. It was the perfect yarn that gave me dreams of a perfect baby hat. It was left over from some socks, and I was pretty sure there was just enough. (Famous last words anyone??) But that isn't how this tale ends. No, indeed. It takes twists and turns that you would never expect. This yarn was in two skeins, since I had knit the socks two at a time. After casting on, and knitting the entire first skein, things were going well and I was feeling good about my chances of finishing the hat just at the end of the yarn. On Sunday I packed the second little ball, and headed off to church.  I sat down, and after waiting the appropriate amount of time (we don't play with toys, eat snacks, or knit until after the sacrament has been passed. See? Total knitting justification.) I got out my knitting, and went to attach the second skein. It wasn't there. I looked like a meth addict looks for her crack pipe and needles. Still, nothing. So I did the only sensible thing, and left my amazing husband alone with five children so I could run home to search for the lost lamb, like the savior would have me do. (What was that about knitting justification?) I searched high and low. Nothing. It was gone. I could find it nowhere. I took another, less satisfying project and made it through church. Then continued searching when I got home. Fast forward to Monday night. There is a knock at my door. I open it to find the neighbor from a mile down the road standing there, holding out the yarn like a bouquet of flowers on Valentine's day. It was all I could do not to kiss the man. Apparently he had found the yarn, and by reasonable deduction, decided it must belong to me. Ahhh, my hero. My yarn was home.  I gently packed it into my yarn bag, and headed off to my monthly ob appointment. The appointment was great, and all looks fantastic, but I was there for less than ten minutes from the time I walked in the door to when I walked out, so no knitting time.  I ran to football after, which was in a town an hour away. I settled in, grabbed my hat, and went to grab the second skein of yarn. Gone. No where to be found. The lamb had wandered off again. I have no idea where to even look, except the ob office, which I will be going to this afternoon. This yarn may just need to stay lost, while I purchase another skein... Then I could knit a matching jacket.
Some things are not meant to be, and others after meant to be bigger.