Wednesday, April 29, 2009

OUch! My heart hurts.

Some days are hard. This has been one of them. I have that elusive baby on my brain. I wish I could see the plan laid out in front of me so that I could just get over it already. I hate the ache I feel in my chest, and I hate the tears that seem to find their way down my cheeks daily right now.

I have my knitting! I love how busy it can keep me. I finished a couple more pairs of socks. I went on a trip and hit a bunch of yarn stores and made some lovely purchases. All in all a very successful trip if I do say so myself. I will post pics of some of my current projects and spoils from both my shopping, and my Knitpick order in a bit.

I read A LOT. I love to read. I think i am going to start talking about my books here. A one sided discussion. Nothing crazy about discussing books to ones self, no? I am about to start Ayn Rand's "Atlas Shrugged". I am also reading A Yarn Harlot book that I borrowed from the 1:00 Wed friend that has become SO much more than just a 1:00 Wed friend. It seems that she and I click and it is so awesome to have a dear friend that gets my addiction.. or got me addicted. Either way...

OK, now for pictures....
My first attempt at baby socks.
The finished Cable "Be Mine" socks. They were so much fun!
The socks I made my son to match the socks posted below that I made for my other son.
Some of what I purchased on my shopping trip. I had great control.. Notice the SOME part... BUT that there is Malabrigo lace!!!!! I am pretty darn excited. The red is sock yarn that is to die for.
AND last but not least:
My latest Knit Pick order. I got a couple of each of those. I did not post pics of my last order. The perfect man has asked me to use the yarn I have before purchasing any more.. I agreed.. but then I found that the wash cloth yarn is on sale at a local store... He will understand. I know he will!

Thursday, April 16, 2009

The socks, part two. As promised.

My socks. My first socks. They are wonderful in every way. I love them.


The socks I made for bonus child.


And the pair I made for the baby... I still need to post pics of the yarn I got for these. :P

No baby Noah for us

We did not get the baby. They needed someone to take him today or tomorrow and our home study is not finished. I am truly heartbroken, but I know that if this was our baby God would have made a way. He must belong to someone else. I hope they are wonderful and awesome.

Monday, April 13, 2009

The socks.....

I finished the socks from the yarn I posted down there....

Can I use that as an Excuse for not updating my blog?? I know, I know. It is nto an excuse until the pictures have been posted. I will get to that... if I can remember where exactly I put that pesky camera.

I ordered a bunch more yarn. Shocking, I know. I made a sock for Jacob, and started one for Kyra. I have had about 30 requests for socks since I started wearing mine. I will never catch up.

I am cableing for the first time. I am trying a pattern called "Be Mine" for my daughter. It is not going to bad in my own little opinion. We will see what happens in the next couple of days though.

In other news.... bigger than sock news...

We may be getting a baby. I am not sure. I am so nervous. A friend posted on my MOF bored saying that there was a baby that needed a home. I jumped on it and am trying to stay head above water while putting things together, and trying not to get my hopes up to high. My heart breaks when I think about not getting him, and I am a mess when I think about actually getting him. I really am semi-sane.

I am so sure that our family is not complete. I hurt deep in my chest each day for the baby I am not able to have. My heart hurts for each of the 10 babies we have lost. My eyes sting every time I see a baby, or a pregnant belly. I made dinner for a lady in my ward that just had a baby, and I went to another friends baby shower. I wish I could explain how deep the pain is. How confusing it is to feel joy for another, when feeling such heart ripping pain for myself.

Ahhh, If only life were easy, ey?