A who surprise

My sister wife/ bff is a Whovian. That is a person who is unnaturally obsessed with the show "Dr Who." A show that I don't really understand, and think is a little boring. However, I must be in the wrong because my other dear friend is a fan also.

So when I saw the Pantless knitter blog about these, I had to knit them. Two pair.

Now I am working on "Tree of Life" socks. The sister wife knit them, and holy amazing!!!!!  Just crazy awesome. I need them. I am not happy with my current yarn choice though. I plan to remedy that today.

In baby related news...

I ordered a pack of newborn onsies. Yesterday's ultrasound made it feel real. The baby was sucking its hands, and rubbing its eyes. It was being entirely too cute, and I kind of fell a little bit in love. I hope that doesn't jinx it. 

The difference between normal and me

Normal.

A normal woman looks forward to the big gender reveal ultrasound with hope, joy, and dreams about a pink or blue nursery. They dream about a pink crib set, or that perfect blue lamp.

My big appointment is in 48 hours. I am super excited, and am looking forward to it with hope, joy, and the fulfillment of knowing that I will know the gender if I end up burying this baby before the gender can be easily seen. I will know what my baby was for sure, instead of an indistinct feeling. As silly as it is, this is huge!!!

Everything has been wonderful, and fine as far as the health of the baby. I have had zero signs that this baby will not make it to full term... But seeing as how this is my 19th pregnancy, and I have given birth to 4 live children... Well the math kinda gets me. I keep wondering when this will feel real, and when I will allow myself to believe that I am actually having a baby. A live, healthy baby that I will get to bring home. I have yet to allow myself to glance at the baby section. I own exactly nothing for this baby. I didn't even keep a single onsie after my last since we were "done." I wonder when I will jump in and make that first baby purchase.

Maybe after Monday. Maybe.

I swear I have a good excuse

And that excuse is that I have been sick. So, so sick. The kind of sick that makes you wish for death several times a day.

But now? I am still sick, but a much more manageable sick. The kind of sick that I can totally live with.

The illness is not exactly contagious.... At least not until about 8 months or so after the illness begins. At that point it seems that many women struggle with a desire for this illness.

It starts with this:

Ok, you and I both know that it technically doesn't start with that, but for the sake of pictures....

And it grows. It grows into a miracle. 

Our family was complete nearly six years ago. We knew we were done. Then in January we were told very clearly that we were not so done. That a special child needed to come to our home. We were shocked, and I really struggled with the idea. I was scared. I am old. Way to old to start again! My body is magnificent, and functions well. It does what I need it to do, but was it fair to ask this of it? I really thought not. However, after many prayers we felt strongly that his will would be done. Then there was that spark of hope and excitement. Now? I am still in shock, but very thankful for this blessing. This miracle. We will be accepting this extremely special spirit into our home in February.

And next week we find out the gender, and all that stuff. Super exciting!!

When good knitting goes bad, oh high hopes!

Things on the knitting front have been rather stagnant. The Monica is on the new needles, being completely neglected. The socks resemble socks now. And high hopes?? Yes, let's talk about high hopes, and the emotional roller coaster she has taken me on.

So far, she has been like the bad girlfriend, that won't let you go, but won't commit. Or maybe I am the bad girlfriend. I have had some serious monogamy issues with this knit, my friends. I was so loyal when I first saw her. I wined and dined her. I spent large amounts of money on her, and spent much time thinking about, and longing for her. But then?? As many relationships go, once I had her things felt a little less new and shiny.
But I decided that I had committed, and I really loved her cables, so I cast on. We knit on comfortably, but slowly for awhile. I thought things were going well. I though we were marginally happy anyway. We carried on for a few weeks, and several skeins of yarn in this marginally happy state, and i believed things were ok, until she gives me a slap to the face by saying "I need you to do more. I need you to do the impossible to show me that you love me. I need you to pick up the cast on stitches. " To this I shook my head and said "absolutely. I can absolutely do this thing for you." And then she looked at me, and she said "In pattern." And my head spun. I felt so betrayed. Crushed. She obviously knew from the start that she wanted me to again knit those stitches, so why in the name of all that is holy didn't she tell me that at first, and ease my pain with a provisional cast on?? Why?? An intricate pattern of a million little cables, and she calmly asks me to "pick up those stitches, in pattern, and continue on for the front." It was almost to much, but I went on. I picked up those stitches over and over, and got sort of, a little bit, reasonably close to "in pattern" and I called it good, though I felt no true satisfaction. Then I spoke to her. I told her i was doing my best, and wanted to stay together. I wanted to keep trying. And she said " ok, then knit row one of the cable chart. "  I wanted to argue. I really did. I wanted to point out that there was already a row one of cable chart where we had cast on, knit row one of the cable chart, and then picked up those cast on stitches. It seemed to me that maybe we should be doing row two of the cable chart if we truly wanted to seemlessly keep the pattern. But she insisted it was best to start with row one, so I did.

It turns out that I get to say a big fat "told you so" here. Ok, so maybe not the best thing for our relationship. And then things just went down hill from there. 

And although you can see her sexy appeal, things just kept getting worse. In the back she said to repeat the cable chart twice every for rows.. Then in the front she changes her mind and says to repeat it every row. This straw was so close to breaking that camel's back. So close. 

I took a closer look at her construction, which is so clever. 

But totally whack. 

Inspite all of this I love her. I really do. 

But sometimes you must let go of the things you love most to allow them to become more. 

So I had to break up with her. 

Sometimes things just are not meant to be. 

A season for everything

This happened before the last post, but I felt it deserved a post of its own.

My oldest child is not only an adult now, but an adult with a piece of paper telling us that we have done our job, and not screwed up entirely.

She has come so far, and I am so proud of her. Her journey had been such a good one, filled with amazing choices. I know her future is bright. I know she will change the world. She has already changed mine. 

Controlling the stash

Or maybe only thinking you are controlling, but in reality, enjoying how it controls you.
Yesterday I went to the stash, and we had a good chat. A chat about behaving, organizing, and getting in our place so that the new puppy doesn't continue gnawing at us.
Then I sat and had a wonderful time, enjoying my yarn. I sorted it (again) and then I sealed it into lovely little food saver bags. I think my yarn is happy, all wrapped up cozy, away from puppies and moths. I am not done, of course. This isn't a one day activity. But I made real progress. I also used the time to update some of my stash on ravelry. I should do that more.

We are about to start summer vacation. I really love summer. Lazy days, lots of playing, lots of knitting. My kids are home with me full time, but summer is different. We cancel all appointments, and I let my kids be kids. We spend a lot of time in the mountains, and that suits me fine.

The youngest is already finding entertainment.

Cup stacking

Bow building and breaking. The sad face kind of melted my heart. The bow actually worked pretty well, until it snapped in half. 

And to kick off summer, my friends amazingly adorable son came over and sang while playing the pink uke. It was awesome. He has a talent!

And in devastatingly sad news...

I have a sad story. It is a story of a shawl on $45 engraved needles, lost for weeks. Then found, in love and joy!! Then put tenderly into the knitting bag. Then the story takes a horribly violent turn. It was the middle of a dark and stormy night. A terrible beast ravaged the land, leaving shawl and engraved needles a pile of ruin. Complete destruction. Never to rise again.

The beast is bold, and found contentment in the evils of her way.

All knitting

I like posts that are all knitting. Things have been insane with The Escaped Goats, so the knitting has been slow. However, I finished Gramps.

Now to think about blocking and buttons. But not any time soon. 

Next my plan is to finally finish Monica.

And I intend to knit my new favorite socks. I am so in love with these already. 

I am super close to the knitting monogamy I always strive for. Now I can plan all of the things I plan to cast on to ruin the monogamy.