I often find myself telling people that this amazing pregnancy was a surprise. And it was. My husband pointed out that I am giving people the wrong impression, and he is correct. This pregnancy was indeed a surprise, but not an accident. Let me explain.
We really thought our family was complete after our last child. When we both got a very strong prompting that it was not complete, and that it would please our Father in Heaven if we would allow another child to enter our family, it was indeed a surprise. We were told very clearly years ago that we could choose to have another child, but that our Heavenly Father was indeed equally happy with us no matter what decision we made. At that time, we were told that our metaphorical bench was empty, but that we could still provide a home for a child in need. We prayed, and felt that our father was indeed completely neutral. He would be pleased if we did, but would not be displeased if we didn't. That was good enough for us, and we decided that we had our hands full with the children we had, and we were done. That is why it was so odd that years later our father came to us asking is to provide a body and a home for another child. We both knew without a shadow of a doubt that we were being asked to have this child. This child that was not originally intended to be ours. It was no longer a neutral request, it was a plea from our Father in Heaven. We needed to provide a body, and parents for this exceptionally strong spirit. How could we say no? If I am honest, we tried. For months we tried to convince our maker that we knew best, and that we simply couldn't start over in our old age. In the end he was clear, and firm. This child needed us, but more so, we needed him. We humbled ourselves, and it was one of the hardest things I have done. We were going to have another baby.
Against all odds, and the true miracle of it, once we turned things over to the hands of the lord, we became pregnant. It truly was divine. We were not supposed to be able to have more children. Getting pregnant had never been easy, and took years of trying when we were younger. I lost my right tube to an ectopic years ago, and my left ovary doesn't function. This baby is indeed a miracle. A surprise. However, he is very much not an accident. He is a true, powerful blessing. I feel that every single day. I am carrying a choice spirit of my heavenly parents. My righteous husband and I have been asked to bring him here, and raise him in our imperfection. He is a miracle, and I have been brought to my knees and truly humbled. We are so blessed.