Friday, August 19, 2011

Today I am a mom

and if I am honest, I am 30 seconds from being the mother to one less. I have a two year old, and she is, well, two. I have to watch little Miss like a hawk watches a fluffy bunny. If she is silent I know she is getting into something that ought not to be gotten into. She is a destroyer, and makes the terminator look rather tame.

This morning I had an appointment. I got to go without my children. I hate to say that I look forward to my MRI appointments, but I do. A little quiet time. A bit of a nap. The perfect way to spend an hour. This morning was one such morning. I got the children up, and ready for the day. I dressed them, and fed them waffles. I even took a picture of little Miss in her quirky outfit, and promptly posted it on facebook. "Isn't she brilliant?"
(This is actually the second picture I took, and is not as good as the first, but the floor was so filthy in the first that I couldn't post it.)

So after our morning I kiss each precious child good bye, and head out the door. I know instantly that i am in trouble. Little Miss has gotten her shoes, and is trying to follow me out the door. I explain to her that i can't take her this time but that I will be home soon. I am pretty sure that this is when, through her mass of screaming a tears, she makes a plan. A plan of revenge and severe punishment.

I was gone for one hour and forty minutes. I came home to find:

1. My hand spun yarn in shambles, utterly destroyed. She has taken the low blow and gone directly for the heart. Touche. You win.

2. She has opened the box of diapers, pulled out 14 and urinated in each and every one. Every. Single. One.

3. She got into my make up. The evidence? Mascara everywhere.

4. She went into the babies room, which is where we keep all of her clothing and toys, because she has this nasty habit of dumping them all into a not so tidy pile when she wants revenge. Check. Everything dumped.

I discovered all of this with in ten minutes of walking in the door. I am not sure where else her path of destruction leads, and I am almost too afraid to search.

I calmly fed the little doll spaghetti-o's for lunch, and put her down for a nap. A nice long nap I hope.

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