After a bone is broken an x-ray will always tell its tale. Though the bone may heal, it very well may always ache with certain factors, like weather changes etc. I find that is a lot how the healing from a loss has been. It was a year ago tonight that I received the haunting call from my daughter. This time last year our lives changed so dramatically that I feared the fractures would never heal. I didn't think we would ever be "normal" or happy again. While things are so very, very different, and we are clearly still broken, things are not as bad as they were at that time. Things have glued themselves back together in a new, still painful, but with a sprinkle of joy normal. We are still going on. We are still putting one foot in front of another, and we are still here. Still trying. Things are worse than they were a year and a day ago, but so much better than a year minus a day. Life truly does go on. It goes on in a different, beautiful way. It goes on in ways I didn't think were possible the night the Drs told us all that they told us.
Things go on, no matter how slowly, or painfully. The world doesn't stop. It doesn't even slow down. It doesn't matter how much your own sphere is shattering, it just keeps going, feeling joy, feeling whole. Eventually it drags those who stay along, and though they can't ever be whole and undamaged again, they can feel joy. They can learn to heal enough to form a new normal that contains so many levels of love, light and happiness to mingle with their sorrow and despair.
A year ago I really believed the world held no more light. I believed that we could never be normal and happy again. And we won't ever be our old normal. But we are happy with our new normal, and are finding new joy. We stumble. We fall. We know what the bottom feels like, and we know how to call on our savior to help us up again. There is light.
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