The end of an era

How is it possible to be so happy and sad all at the same time? The mother's heart can break and shine at the same moment. I guess it is a blessing we have. Today my baby turns four. Four! He is my last, and we have gracefully outgrown baby swings, walkers, cribs, pacifiers, and highchairs. He has grown taller, learned to crawl, walk and run. He grew hair, and learned to talk. But he and I still held on to one baby thing. We held on to one precious baby moment, and today was our last.

Today we nursed for the last time. This is the last time in my life that I will do one of my most favorite, cherished things. But today he is four, and four year olds don't nurse. That is what we have been saying for weeks, in preparation for this change. I don't know that either of us are ready for this change, but it is time. Soon he will forget, but to me these memories are precious, and I will hold on for dear life.