Let's get real; confessions of a homeschool mom

Being a mom is hard. Really hard.  (I know. I just totally caught your attention by using a title,  and first line that literally every single home school mom has used)
But really, being a mom sucks sometimes.  Being a homeschool mom with children that are always here (always. They never leave!) Is intense. Intensely rewarding, intensely heartbreaking, intensely panic attack inducing...  the list goes on. 

I am not a great mom. I try. I try super hard. I always fall just a little short of the goal.  Still, so far I have kept track of them. I currently know where each and every one of them are. Well, mostly.

But I wanted to share a few pictures of my life. I want to be able to look back and remember that I fought a battle, and I won. (I hope. Please tell me I win.) I want to look back someday when all of these short people are grown, and successful, and think "I created that."  Hopefully I will be saying it in a *sunshine, rainbows and butterflies sigh* sort of way, and not a *how many years in prison??* sort of way.

This morning I was (am) grouchy. My throat hurts, I am tired, and dieting generally sucks. (I am always dieting, so it is just a given here)

I needed a fee minutes to myself, so I made the mistake of stumbling to the bathroom and closing the door. I know better.  I know better than to think that my butt hitting the toilet seat isn't like an alarm going off at midnight directly in my children's ears.  They think "she is stuck. She can't move.  Now is our time. Victory is ours!" And within less than s minute, this was my view. 

Yes, this is 4 children, and one 130 pound dog.  This is real. This is what my glorious life looks like.  

And people say "Well, you chose it." And I did. I just didn't know what I was choosing, or you can bet I would have chosen differently. Just kidding. Sort of. 

For real though, I am so blessed.  I am blessed that my children want to be with me.  I am blessed that they love me regardless of my many, many  (many, many, many) short comings.  They want to be with me, regardless of my grouchy state. They love me with all their little hearts, regardless of how I look, how clean my house is, how much I weigh, or how my cooking tastes. (Ok, that is debatable some nights) 

And I am so thankful to have the opportunity to chose insanity, and still be sane.