The socks.....

I finished the socks from the yarn I posted down there....

Can I use that as an Excuse for not updating my blog?? I know, I know. It is nto an excuse until the pictures have been posted. I will get to that... if I can remember where exactly I put that pesky camera.

I ordered a bunch more yarn. Shocking, I know. I made a sock for Jacob, and started one for Kyra. I have had about 30 requests for socks since I started wearing mine. I will never catch up.

I am cableing for the first time. I am trying a pattern called "Be Mine" for my daughter. It is not going to bad in my own little opinion. We will see what happens in the next couple of days though.

In other news.... bigger than sock news...

We may be getting a baby. I am not sure. I am so nervous. A friend posted on my MOF bored saying that there was a baby that needed a home. I jumped on it and am trying to stay head above water while putting things together, and trying not to get my hopes up to high. My heart breaks when I think about not getting him, and I am a mess when I think about actually getting him. I really am semi-sane.

I am so sure that our family is not complete. I hurt deep in my chest each day for the baby I am not able to have. My heart hurts for each of the 10 babies we have lost. My eyes sting every time I see a baby, or a pregnant belly. I made dinner for a lady in my ward that just had a baby, and I went to another friends baby shower. I wish I could explain how deep the pain is. How confusing it is to feel joy for another, when feeling such heart ripping pain for myself.

Ahhh, If only life were easy, ey?